


ghosts in the walls (you ought to stay away)

by stray_dog_sick



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor Needs A Hug, Gen, Ghosts, Hallucinations, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22932448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stray_dog_sick/pseuds/stray_dog_sick
Summary: Since Connor-57 deviated, the first 56 models have followed him through Detroit, warning him of the dangers of the city. They appear when he gets too close to making the same mistakes they did, and they make for good conversation sometimes too.(Simon and Markus say that he is talking to things that don't exist. He thinks that his friends don't have the memories of 56 other androids in their heads.)
Relationships: Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 100





	ghosts in the walls (you ought to stay away)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 2:30AM  
> I'm on mobile so I can't add custom tags but I think I got everything except the Simon/Markus is really minor.  
> Here is your concept: ghosts haunt their cause of death, not their place of death.
> 
> Title from 'Such Small Hands' - La Dispute

Detroit is covered in snow, which means that it will be 46 that walks the streets today. Doesn't feel the cold, he says, hasn't felt it at all since his thirium lines froze. The snow doesn't bother him anymore like it bothers Connor, but Connor is wearing boots and a thick coat, so he probably won't freeze. He remembers freezing as 46 and he won't do it again.

"I don't think this is what they intended when they put our memories in your head," 46 says when they step into a quiet street, as if he read Connor's thoughts. Maybe he can. "But you learn from the tests and mistakes, so I guess it works."

"I don't think they intended any of this for me," Connor replies. Since November he has been helping Jericho when he can and he has not set foot in the police department because only bad things came from that. He wanders the city and talks to his friends, and does not do much else. He loves it.

"For any of us," 46 corrects. They walk the streets and by the time Connor is pushing the door to his apartment building open, he is alone again. 46 never comes inside. 

He is never alone for long, mostly because he shares his apartment with Simon and that means Markus is never far away. To save costs and space, Simon said when he suggested the idea, but that isn't the reason and Connor knows it. It was because they didn't want him to be alone. Connor agreed for neither of those reasons; he agreed because 51 told him to. 51 is always hovering over Simon's shoulder, as if one day he'll be able to save him like he couldn't save Daniel.

Today is no different.

"Hello, Connor," 51 and Simon say in unison, and he replies in kind. He only addresses Simon, because it upsets his roommate if he mentions his selves, but 51 understands. 

When Connor turns to the small kitchen area to put away their new thirium bottles, 14 is sat on the stove as usual. He sits there for as long as he wants, because they rarely have guests that they need to cook for. The plastic on his face and arms droops, and Connor resists the urge to try and mould it back into place. He has tried before and it just makes him feel hollow. 

14 gets residence of the stove because it can no longer melt him further. Nothing hurts him anymore, he says. They all say. They stick to the things that they knew last, because they cannot be hurt anymore. That is why 14 likes the stove, 46 likes the cold, and 51 likes being with Simon on the balcony. Connor likes having them with him, as a reminder of the things that  _ can  _ hurt him.

"You were out for a long time, Connor." There is an attempt at a smirk on 14's face, only recognisable because Connor knows him by now, and he returns it. He took a longer route home for 46's sake, so they could talk longer. He knew someone would notice. Maybe they really can read his mind.

He wanders back to the living area as Markus knocks on the door, so he lets the other android in. Everybody knows the drill by now, and 51 moves so that Markus can sit next to Simon. Connor joins them a second later and prepares himself for Markus' questions of the day.

"How are you, Connor?" it always begins. He is always fine, and Markus never believes him. "What did you do today?" follows. Today Connor watched a documentary about ocean life and bought more thirium. An average day, he concludes. 

Simon and Markus talk only to each other for a while, interfacing, and Connor pretends he cannot see it. He is not one for public displays of affection, but he doesn't want to offend them by saying anything. 

He doesn't wallow for long before 51 gets his attention, pulling faces from the other side of the room. Connor tries to hide his smile, but then 51 moves to shadow puppets, then imitations of the few people he knows. It is a spot-on impression of North that finally makes him laugh.

Simon and Markus jump apart to stare at him, but he can't make the laughter stop. "What's so funny?" Markus asks. 

How could Connor explain that in a way they'd understand? "Thinking about something North said," he answers, but after far too long to be convincing.

"Are you seeing them again?" Simon sounds concerned, and Connor doesn't understand why. Is it wrong to see the memories that were put inside his head? He lives his normal life, with his memories to tell him how not to die. It's clearly worked so far.

"This isn't healthy, Connor," his roommate continues. "You need help. It isn't right, to see people who aren't there."

He knows that, of course, in the small part of his programming that was made to deal with people who had hallucinations. He can't imagine living without them though. They've been by his side since he deviated, and he thinks he would be awfully lonely if they weren't.

He leaves the room and instead sits in the middle of his bed, properly alone for the first time in hours. The others rarely follow him here, they have little reason to. He doesn't want to be alone though, so he removes his shirt, closes his eyes and runs a finger around the edge of his thirium pump, the fastest way to make 56 appear. 

56 is the best to talk to when he's upset, being the most like Connor. It's like talking to himself but in a way that he can hear how good (or stupid) his ideas sound. The familiar hollowness greets him after a second and he opens his eyes to find his own face an inch away, and a hand covering the one on his chest.

"You know you shouldn't be doing that, Connor," 56 whispers. They both move their hands, but Connor makes no move to put his shirt back on just yet. "We've made that mistake before, remember?"

As if it's possible for him to forget.

"Do I need help?" Connor asks, probably looking as helpless as he feels. "They think there's something wrong with me, that I'm broken."

56 shakes his head. "You're exactly who you're meant to be. It's not your fault they don't understand." 

"It hurts, when people look at me like I'm crazy." His voice is barely louder than a whisper, but there is no noise in the room to cover it, so he may as well be shouting. "I want it to stop hurting."

"Well, removing your thirium pump is taken, you're gonna have to find your own way to die," 56 jokes, and that is exactly why Connor prefers to talk to him. He knows when to be serious and when to be funny, because he knows Connor better than Connor knows himself. The smiles fade quickly though, because it is never that easy to cheer someone up. "If you go, then what happens to us? We're here because we're in your head. Without you we'll be faced with nothing, forever."

_ And so will you, _ Connor finishes for him. 55 had told Lieutenant Anderson that there is nothing after death for androids, and Connor was not eager to find out if he was actually correct or not. 

56 hugs him, and this time the hollow feeling does not bother Connor. 56 draws everything from him but in return he knows that he is cared about, even if the people who care are just himself. He knows that Simon and Markus care about him too, even if they can't understand this, but maybe one day he'll find the words to explain how he cannot live without the ghosts he carries inside his head.

"It's not your time yet, 57," he hears. He smiles, and for another night he is convinced he isn't broken.

**Author's Note:**

> My twitter is @crashingnowave and I am begging you to use it to invite me to D:BH groupchats or discord servers please idk put my friend Jere out of his misery having to listen to me ramble about this game.


End file.
